34 minus 1 day

As the title suggests, it is a day before my 34th birthday. It is reminiscing time for me. I want to write something thoughtful but I can’t seem to move forward. This is the empty page in my Moleskine journal.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to write something meaningful before the day ends.  I try to recall my past birthdays by looking through photographs. I am amazed at the birthdays my mother single-handedly prepared for me. Even if my parents did not have much financially, my mother was able whip something special for my birthday. Oh, how I miss my parents!

My favorite celebrations were the ones when we were all gathered in the dining table, eating, talking and laughing. Last year, I had a simple lunch with my aunts.

The parties with guests stress me out that I vowed to do that every 5 years only.  Next year, I am due to have a party with guests. For  tomorrow, it will just be a simple lunch again (or dinner?) with family.

As I reminisced, I tapped into my journals as a teenager. I had quite a number of them. Oh my! I was surprised at my entries. I had my share of teenage angst! I have always thought I was a calm and balanced teenager. I guess I poured all my heartaches and pains into those journals.  I am glad to say that I have grown up. The things that bothered me before do not bother me anymore. I must admit they were quite shallow.  How I cringe at the grammar mistakes! Well, that is part of the learning process. I was thinking of posting my entries here but I digress. Some things should be kept hidden.

I look forward to the future. As I welcome another year in my life, I’ll say to myself:

“If you’d never been born, well what would you be?
You might be a fish! Or a toad in a tree!
You might be a door knob! Or three baked potatoes!
You might be a bag full of hard green tomatoes!
Or worse than all that… why, you might be a
A Wasn’t has no fun at all. No, he doesn’t.
A Wasn’t just isn’t. He just isn’t present.
But you… you ARE YOU! And now, isn’t that pleasant!”

— Dr. Seuss, from Happy Birthday To You!

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